that also let you set the ide of lazarus to dark mode.

After a lot of searching, I did find a way that at least looks like it is darkmode - keep in mind that its pretty close but not perfect.
This most likely only works with Windows 10 (I believe it even requires certain Windows 10 updats) and Windows 11.
Tested with Win32 and Win64 binaries.

These are the steps (files attached - extract in project directory) to make your application start (!) in darkmode under Windows, when Windows is set to darkmode.

Note that changing dark/light mode while the application is running, is not working at the moment (suggestions/input most welcome).

Source: udarkstyle.pas and uWin32WidgetSetDark.pas from metadarkstyle

So the steps I did: First the needed uses clause:

Uses ....
  {$IFDEF Windows}
  , uWin32WidgetSetDark, uDarkStyle
  {$ENDIF}  
  ... ;

To make it work fully, I've added this to my main forms "OnCreate" event - this fixes some minor details that for some reason are not done automatically:

procedure TForm1.FormCreate(Sender: TObject);
begin
  ...
  if IsDarkModeAppearance then ApplyDarkStyle; 
  ...
end;

The function "IsDarkModeAppearance" detects darkmode kind-a cross platform, this is the part needed for Windows:

function IsDarkModeAppearance:boolean;
const
  KEYPATH = '\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Themes\Personalize';
  KEYNAME = 'AppsUseLightTheme';
var
  LightKey: boolean;
  Registry: TRegistry;
begin
  Result := false;
  Registry := TRegistry.Create;
  try
    Registry.RootKey := HKEY_CURRENT_USER;
    if Registry.OpenKeyReadOnly(KEYPATH) then
      begin
        if Registry.ValueExists(KEYNAME) then
          LightKey := Registry.ReadBool(KEYNAME)
        else
          LightKey := true;
      end
    else
      LightKey := true;
    Result := not LightKey
  finally
    Registry.Free;
  end;
end;    

Note: The modifications I made were done in "uDarkStyle.pas" (line 254):

// mod to make sure light mode works proper as well
// was: AppMode := TPreferredAppMode(pamDefault);   

if ShouldAppsUseDarkMode then
  AppMode := pamForceDark
else
  AppMode := TPreferredAppMode(pamDefault);

What this does is make sure things work properly in light mode (pamDefault) and dark mode (pamForceDark). The latter makes sure the titlebar is dark as well.

Based on slightly modified excellent and extensive work by Alexander Koblov (Double Commander).